In less
than one month, my son will be driving – on his own. I facilitated his
enrollment in a driver’s education class early last January, to ensure that
come December, he would be ready to drive. I also made sure that he took his
road test early enough (in September) to allow for extra time should he need to
take it again before turning 17. Now that the day is fast approaching, whom do
I have to blame for coordinating the moment he sits behind the wheel and drives
away, by himself? ME.
Yes, that’s
right. I’ve been his “right-hand” mom throughout his ever-changing 17 years.
You could say that I have been the driver and passenger throughout this
uncharted journey, as he traveled from infancy into toddlerhood, childhood and
now young adulthood.
Many
parents I know do the same thing: hurriedly move their kids along to the next
big adventure as efficiently, and as soon as practically possible. We were
quick to sign them up for activities and challenges, often before they were
ready. We rushed them, whether anyone
realized it or not. It all seemed perfectly fine; most of the time, my son took
the next hurdle in stride. He was on hockey skates at age two, in soccer gear
at three, baseball at four. He went to sleep-away camp at 9-years-old, played
on a serious ice hockey team at age 11, and will be driving the minute he turns
17.
What’s the
hurry? Now I ask?
It’s too
late. I see that now and have reflected on whether I could have slowed things
down for him, for us. Why did I rush him to the next activity, challenge or
achievement, before the paint dried on the one he just accomplished? They say hindsight is 20/20 and I guess they
are right. What would I have done differently, knowing that his days of driving
solo are imminent? I might have tried to be more present, paid closer attention
to his individual achievements, however small, and reveled in them before
looking ahead to the next big thing.
As he drives
along local roads with me as his passenger, I realize that I am running out of
time to give him some last minute tips on navigating double yellow lines and
dotted white lines, a blinking red light and the ever-confusing HOV markings. How can I be sure he will merge at the right
speed and use his signal when changing lanes and not text and drive? So far,
I’ve been able to tell him what to do, to direct him on the best path, to
ensure that he makes a full stop at that blinking red light. But as the minutes
and hours elapse, so too does my hold on my son.
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